The thing about jewels
by Stigmergy
Summary: Rita Malone must obtain 3 million quid before the end of May or her father will be killed. Trouble is, no one will hire her and money is tight. After a conversation with a local fish monger, she must find Millicent Bystander, Jewel thief extraordinaire, to help her find a priceless Ruby. With the Mafia, sexy spies and annoying siblings, things get really interesting. From an Acorn
1. Character summary

The Thing About Jewels

A/N: Story begins next chapter.

Characters:

**-****Roderick (Roddy) ST James, codename: Millicent Bystander-** International Jewel thief turned SI6 (Sewer Intelligence) agent. Grew up in Kensington as a pet until he was flushed. He met his father once (another pet) and never met his mother (a sewer rat). He is confident and cunning.

**-Rita Malone-** Captain of the Jammy Dodger, a fishing boat and part of a three boat battalion. She is the heir to Topsy-turvy a local fishing company, which was founded by her Great-grandfather. She is as tuff as nails and cares deeply about her family and would do anything for them.

**-A. Mouse-** Roddy's teenage protégé. He is a light brown wild mouse. He is loyal and brave but is not the sharpest tool in the shed. His crazy Uncle Derfilion raised him.

**- The Toad-** leader of London's sewers mafia. He is a collector of fine antiquities, a habit he got into when he lived in Buckingham palace. He is a father to countless illegitimate children; he has two children by his wife.

**-Le Frog-** He is the sewers of France's ambassador to the UK. He is also the Toad's second cousin. Loves flies and the ladies (Rita).

**-Sid-** Roddy's half brother on his mother's side. Owns the safe house and hotels and houses throughout the sewer. He is Rita's best friend, they grew up together, in the "wrong" part of town.

**-Spike (Lesley)-** Young and clever this bookie is in need of constant gratification. He is one angry little dude. Slimy and spineless he is unexplainably lovable.

**-Whitey-** Tall and bulky he is the perfect bodyguard for the head bookie of London's sewer. He is defiantly not the brains of the bunch. He was a lab rat up top, testing makeup.

**-The Persuader-** Spike's secret weapon almost always away on various missions. He is the one thy call if a gambler does not pay. He enjoys hurting people and eating nuts.

**-Jonathan Meyers, AKA Ladykiller-** Sly and smooth, he loves the ladies and the booze. With slicked back hair he is the typical gangster. His best friend is Thimblenose Ted.

**-Theodore Matthews, AKA Thimblenose Ted-** He is tall, slender and gray. He is a drunk suffering from repressed homosexuality and an unrequited lave for his best friend. Never gets any sleep for obvious reasons.

**-Bartholomew A. Smith, AKA Fat Barry-** He is mean, he is lean… no wait her isn't, I mean it's in his name. He is the Toads henchmen, but he is assigned to work for Spike, with

**-Officer Collin-** The lovable and tubby local policeman. He makes friends with everyone… except for Roddy who he hates. He is over excitable and always getting in the way.

-**Pegleg the Pirate Rat–** This crazy hooligan is highly informative, seeing as he is Roddy's informant. However, he does not know when to shut up, so he informs on both the Toad and Roddy. Runs a "sea" food restaurant in Town Square.

**-Mr. Malone-** Rita's Father and owner of Topsy-turvy fishing co. he is an obsessive gambler and especially when it comes to soccer. The Persuader beat him because he failed to pay Spike in time.

**-Liam Malone-** The second oldest Malone child, he is often ignored because of his foolish and outlandish ideas. He is curious and annoying and believes he is older than he is. He's a greasy git.

**-Mrs. Malone-** Rita and Liam's mother (as well as the countless other Malone children's). Vivacious and young (compared to her husband) she came to London when she was young but that did nothing to cover up her accent. Filled with motherly wisdom she is otherwise static.

**-Granny Malone-** Mr. Malone's mother is not all there; she rarely has a lucid moment. With an obsessive crush on Roddy, the Malone family matriarch has some absurdly wacky tendencies.

**- Louisa Higgins, codename: Anastasia or Eliza-** an SIA agent hailing from the USA hat does a surprisingly good English accent. Using her womanly… assets she can't help but being noticed by every guy, but this is their down fall. Charming and witty you can't help falling in love; even she and Roddy were together. Born in the sewer of NYC, this subway rat knows what is what.


	2. Prologue

The Thing About Jewels

**A/N: **

**Dear Internet Inhabitants,**

**My sincerest and deepest apologies about the first chapter of **_**The thing about jewels.**_** I forgot to inform you lovelies that the 1****st**** "chapter" wasn't a chapter at all, but a character introduction and I failed to provide warning. If you are reading my story I do thank you. I must ask if you not judge me to harshly, this is my first fic. Yes, I am aware that the characters are a bit OC that was intentional.**

**With out further a due, the…prologue? HA HA not the first chapter. **

Rita's pov:

The day started like any other. Just another day in the sewer. Another ordinary day in the life of me, Rita Malone. Yeah… right

When I woke up it was to the sound of my screaming brothers and sisters and the smell of our communal breakfast already cooking on our greasy old stove. I didn't wake up suddenly; it was a gradual coming of awareness with my senses dulled as buzzing filed my head. I was warm the covers were soft and the gentle rocking of our precariously placed house, swaying under the river of sewage. This, of course, was a welcome form of procrastination. Typical, ordinary, expected, are all adjectives one could use to describe that morning.

"RITA" my mother called up to me, "everyone's down already, we're all waiting for you" my response to this was a groan and shoving my face into my pillow.

"Oy Rita, get up you lazy bum" Then water, cold, poured all over my head and neck.

"Liam, you bloody prat, what was that for?" I screeched shooting out of the comfortable warmth. The git just snickered.

"Yeah, yeah" he said "just come down pretty princess" I threw my pillow at him. It was quick and it hit him in his stupid face. All he did was smirk and saunter back down stairs.

I hastily fixed my room, threw on cloths, and made my way down, grumbling all the while. Unremarkably, I was greeted by my family, save my brattier siblings. YAWN

Before I knew it I was walking down the docks. I have I fishing boat, the Jammy Dodger, one of three boats my family owns, we are in the fishing business you see, we usually do quite well, at least when there are fish to catch. My brother captains one boat, _The Segway_ (crew of 4)_, _I captain theJammy (crew of one), and my father captains our house. Topsy-turvy, our business, started by my great-grandfather, and passed down to the eldest. I will inherit the company some day… not soo

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A few hours later I was a little ways up the pipes, I had got myself a goldfish… I would usually get more but, I don't know. This will get us three quid, should feed us for a day. Not nearly enough for us to repair our house.

With nothing to do, I stared at my self in the still green water near the floodgates. I had dirt smeared under one of my emerald eyes and my scarlet red hair was messy in my usual ponytail. I looked exhausted; I look thin and frail cloths nearly hanging off my thin frame. I am not you average scrawny sewer rat, I am thin and not unattractive. That might sound conceited but it is the honest to goodness truth.

My thoughts were broken then, by a high and screeching voice. It took my a few seconds to figure out this was a males voice. This is when my day got odd.

"I want my money god dammit" the voice said "that dirtball better pay up or he'll be sorry" The voice was whiny "that looser Malone lost himself 5 games in a row, goes to show ya, what a bollox gambler he is" I remember thinking to myself that I must have misheard, I could not have just heard my last name.

Stock in my own thoughts I almost don't hear what is said next. Laughing the voice said "Bloke won't know what hit him. Alright see ya later mum. Love you bye."

You were talking to your mother, Spike?" a new deeper voice asked rather loudly.

"Shhh, keep it down Whitey. I don't want the Guys to know"

"Sorry Spike" Whitey badly whispered "what are we going to do about the uh… situation"

"I am afraid" I could hear the grin in his voice "we need to get 'The Persuader'"

"But the Boss said…"

"I know what the Boss said" cut in Spike "but I am saying something else. We must make the Mister pay. C'mon boys" then I hears the slamming of a heavy metal door.

_How peculiar, _I think to myself. And I go back to fishing.

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As I started home at the end of the workday I found myself thinking back to that over heard conversation. Something about it didn't sit right with me. So many questions swam through my head: _Who was that they were talking about?_, _Was that my last name I heard?_, _Who or What is "the Persuader"?_

I got a few more fish, I had six in total best haul from one ship in a month. I hoped my Liam and my father did as well if not better.

As I approached my house and dock, I noticed that there were land vehicles parked outside and Officer Collin was at my door conversing with my mother. My first clue was the conversation, the second clue was Collin. I was smart enough to put two and two together. The next time I saw my father was at the free clinics ICU.

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My father is unconscious, every bone in his body broken. At that moment, more than ever I want to know who The Persuader is and how it did this to my dad. I also wanted to know why this was done.

My dad is a balding Rat with light brown hair. He is not the slightest of men nor is he the heaviest. He has clear light blue eyed and a pudgy face.

I hold all of these things in my mind as I sat at the dining table. Everyone else is asleep but I was waiting. Earlier at the Hospital a male nurse slipped me a piece of paper that simply read:

MALONE,

WE HAVE MATTERS TO DISCUSS,DEALS TO COSE.

WE WILL MEET AT MIDNIGHT, YOUR PLACE.

DON'T BOTHER REPLYING.

So there I sat at 11:58pm awaiting my fathers attacker, knowing full well this could be an ambush. The door opens and two rats enter unannounced. One is white and quite large, the other is slight with light brown fur. He swaggers into the room and plops himself onto one of the chairs followed by the big one who stands.

"Rita…" the whiny voice from earlier today draws out my name disgustingly. A sneer tugging on his thin lips "I have come to you to announce that it was I who ordered the attack on your father… and it is I who can end him"

I was not in the mood for this and I snapped "look, bud, I have no clue who think you are. But this is my property and that was my father. So, you better stop this before you can't" I sad breathing heavily

Spike laughed in a humorless way the sneer still etched across his face. "Rita, Rita, Rita… do you really believe that you, have the upper hand in this… for lack of a better word, negotiation?" He read the shocked look on my face and laughed again.

"Here is how this works" he continues, "I Tell you what you need to do, you do as you are told, and then your father does not get killed… by us at least." his eyes harden "Now that was one option, the other is I kill you and your dad and take over your little fishing… thing." He laughs humorlessly "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Whitey cuts in at this point. "I think we should do this the easy way, Spike" Spike gave him a glare in response.

Just as he was about to say something in return, Spike was interrupted by a voice from the stairs. "Rita? Whom are you talking to?" Liam asked his voice filled with sleep.

"No one Liam, go back to sleep"

"Alright" he said trudging up the stairs. "Come up soon it is late. Don't want to keep up everyone with this noise"

Spike looked at me "How many of you are there? Oh no that just means more work for me… in the future" _That sadistic little prick._

Defeated I sighed, "What do you want me to do"

"Ahh, the lady sees reason. You see, your father owed me some… a lot of money"

"How much?" _and how?_

"3 million" _What?_

"What? How" what the…

"You didn't know? Your father frequented my business." Pausing "he was quite the awful gambler" _How illuminating._

**A/N: Chapter one begins the next morning. Don't worry we will see other character then. I will either post later tonight or tomorrow. **

**From an acorn. BOO**


	3. Chapter 1

The Thing About Jewels

**A/N: **

**WEEEEEEEEE!,**

**So here it is, chapter one. This one is going to be in 1****st**** person do not worry. Some more of Rita's pov but we will see more of the prominent characters in this one.**

**Special shout out to**_** loyaldeer**_** for being the first reviewer. Enjoyed hearing your thoughts, thank you.**

**WARNING: cursing ahead (limted)**

**CHAPTER 1**

Of fish and opportunity-

Rita's pov:

It has been three day since my father was checked into the clinic and I have been trying to find a way to obtain the 3 million Pounds. I have to do this under the radar, as one might say. I cannot tell my family, they would be in even greater danger if they knew, and I can not trust that they will keep their mouths shut. So, her I am bumbling about trying to figure out how I will get a butt load of money, on my own, before the month ends. I have sold every fish I have found, every object I have found or scavenged since that morning. I have only had four hours of sleep in the past few days.

I have sold 17 fish since Thursday, the only reason why I have found so many is because I have been home once. I am away under the pretext of trying to make up the difference in income since dad is otherwise occupied. I have also procured and sold countless amounts of items that I fond in carried in the current. These items include but are not limited to, a toe nail, a plastic frog, a bottle cap, and a piece of string. Over the pass three days I have made 456£,including the change I found in the murky green depths. I have only been able to keep around four hundred of that because of family expenses. At this rate my father is a dead man as is everyone else in the family. I only have 21 days to get the money by the end of which I will only have approximately 3,200£.

My best mate Sid hasn't been able to help me much, around the boat, unsurprisingly. Ever since he found out about his half-brother, I haven't rely seen him. His time is usually spent either taking care of his common houses or with his brother, Roddy I think is his name. There is no doubt in my mind that Sid would help us if he could, or if he knew.

On a lighter note my father is maintaining consciousness and has moved out of the ICU, and though every bone in his body is broken the doctors expect he will make a full recovery. I have not yet been to see my father, I haven't had the time, so all my information has come second hand, from my Mum and Liam. He is apparently talking all right and seems to remember everything just fine. His lucidity and lack of brain damage is quite convenient for me, so I can question him myself. I am in fact on my way to see him now.

I am a woman on a mission.

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I walk down the busy streets of sewer city passers by greet me emptily. They all know who I am, were a very close-knit community despite being a decent sized city, this means everyone knows about my families predicament. No doubt some of them even know about my fathers gambling… problem… addiction? I don't know what to call it. What ever it should be classified as it has caused me a world of trouble.

The thing I do not understand is how my father could do this to us. We have always been tight on money so how could he waste the little money we had on a sick obsession. I suppose he could have done this in an attempt to get more money but he should have stopped before the debt got so high, so stifling. I always believed my father to be a caring and intelligent, but this shows no forethought and selfishness. I have never despised my father, but I do know and I am just so confused how can you both love and abhor someone at the same time.

I pass the brightly colored town square and take a right on Summertime Street to go to the hospital. The day is surprisingly bright for such a gloomy month. I take a left on Durin Avenue, jut a few blocks till the hospital and consequently an unpleasant, but necessary conversation.

I take this time to study the thing around me since this is undoubtedly one of the last few days I have on this planet. I look at the people and try to see things I never noticed before, like the way they smile or say a certain word. Find every familiar face and voice in the buzz of movement and sound. I try to soak up everything, needing to recall every memory good and bad.

I make my way up the hospital steps murmuring a polite hello to all those I pass. I stop by the desk to get the room number, 2C, and make my way to the stairs. I make quick work of the steps and walk towards my father's door. The door is heavy as I open it with dead arms.

When I enter the room I am immediately greeted by voices. My father and mother are quietly discussing something. They are so engrossed in there conversation they did not notice that I entered the room.

"-but I am worried about her William. She hasn't been home in two days, and hasn't slept in longer…" my mother says with a worried expression on her face.

"Don't worry about it dear, she is a resilient one, our Rita" _oh so they are talking about me_ "I am sure she is fine. She is just doing what needs to be done. Taking care of you and the children has always been her first priority, even as a child." They still haven't noticed me.

"I know that, but…" mu Mum trails off because she noticed me. _Finally._

My father is the one who greets me first. "Rita, my dear, Its good to see you" he starts with a smile. "I have missed you baby girl" he ends, and I just nod dumbly.

"Rita sweetie, it's lovely to see you out and about away from that boat. We miss you at home you know." Silence follows my mother's words.

I finally find my voice. "It's good too see you both as well. And I miss you all also" I pause " mother is it possible for me to have a private word with father" my fathers perpetual smile seemed to falter at this request and my Mum looked confused but complied without another word.

When the door closed my father began "so what do you wish to discuss?"

"Your gambling problem" at this he pales as much ad his blood-leached skin would allow.

"How do you know about that?" this sends a surge of anger through my veins.

"Oh I don't know" I start pacing " maybe because your bookie came to the house three nights ago. Then he told me about the attack, threatened our whole family, and informed me about your _little problem_."

"I…" he starts to say something before I cut him off.

"Do you know how much you owe?" I see his blank expression and continue. "Three million. 3 bloody million quid. Now how the fuck does someone do that. Blow off that much money I mean what kind of duffer does that." My volume escalated from a grumble to a scream.

" I have till the end of this month to pay him in full, and I can't tell anyone. Do you know what that means?" I ask not even waiting for an answer. "We're dead all of us. You, me, Mum, everyone we don't even have a chance" I say my voice cracking at the end.

"Rita please sit and let me talk… please." I acquiesce sitting down and fuming silently. "you must believe me I never meant for any of this to happen" _that changes nothing_ "the situation just kind of snowballed"

"I want to tell you my side if you would let me" he stops then waiting for something. I don't know what so I just sit there waiting for him to continue. He finally gets the queue and goes on.

"You see…"

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TWO HOURS LATER

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"-and that was that, nothing I could have done."

"So you are leavin' me to clean up your mess, allowing your family to serve the consequences of your actions" his explanation did nothing to quell my anger.

"If I could change it I would, but you can't change the past. I hate what my mistake has done to you, all of you." He looks like he wants to say more but I will not let him breathe another word. Not after listening too two hours of that rat talk.

"I'm leaving. Have a lot to do you know I say standing up and heading towards the door.

"Go home would you. Your mother is worried sick and those dark circles under your eyes are worrisome." _Wonder whose fault that is._

"Fine"

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The next morning I was up early feeling better rested than I had in days. Before anyone was even up I was in my boat going down to one of my regular fishing spots too catch a couple before I go trade with Pegleg the Pirate Rat, the local fish monger and restaurant owner.

After a few hours and 6 fish later I make my way back upstream to town square. I dock at the closes spot to _The Smelly Sailor: Sea Eatery, _Pegleg's place. I make my way to the place and am greeted at the door by a server.

She is new that is the first thing I noticed. I have not seen her around the restaurant or town _how peculiar_. She has lustrous light brown hair falling in waves across her sholders. Hazel eyes sparkling with life, natural naked looks, exceptionally pretty, who am I kidding she is a knock out. I am suddenly self-conscious about my own appearance, ratty hair and even dirtier clothes.

"Hi I am Eliza, I am the hostess. How many in your party?" the lady, Eliza, says. Her accent sounds very weird.

"I am just here to talk to Pegleg… here to trade fish." I say lamely.

"Oh, you must be Rita. I have heard so much about you" she stops "let me get Pegleg for you" and with that she is gone. She is a bit odd. Mannerisms not at all typical, they seem a bit forced.

"You came to see me kid" I am greeted with the presence of crazy once again.

"Yeah, I have fish for you"

"well bring 'um out. The days not getting any newer ye know" the trade is fast an painless he gives me 120 for them… what?

"Uh, Pegleg? You paid more than double for the fish" I say trying to force the money back into his hands. He wouldn't take it. _Git._

"I heard about the spot of trouble you are in and I want to help" seeing the dumbfounded expression on my face, he elaborates. "I overheard you at the hospital yesterday, and I want to help ye, kid." My face colored at this.

"If you heard yesterday than you know we candt be helped." I pause "Why would you want to any way? We are not you problem anyway"

"I want to help cuz you're a good kid, the whole lot of ye good to the bone, a bit snippy maybe though." He starts "And where would I get my fish you guys are the only business in town. We have a symbiotic relationship." He continues "but you are right. There aint one way _I _could possibly help you" Now I am confused "I do however know someone who can" now my interest is piqued " his name is Millicent bystander…"

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**And that concludes chapter one. Hope you liked it.**

**From an Acorn. Chicken turds **


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